No Smell of Fire
Have you ever experienced a campfire? Imagine for a moment you are there now. Take in the scenery, A crisp evening, the roasting of marshmallows, or hotdogs. If you are like me, you like to be right up close and center. I love that sensation of becoming so hot that I need to walk away and then shortly upon walking away to cool off, I am right back up to the flames because I don’t like feeling cold. It is this way with fireplaces too. You can find me sitting on the hearth most days with a cozy blanket wrapped tightly around me. I love a good fire! I love the crackling, and the warmth provided.
Nothing beats the smell of a good ole campfire. What I don’t enjoy about that smell is the after. You know what I am talking about. The AFTER!
My clothes, hair, and skin smell like a campfire! When I leave the campfire, I want to leave it behind, but what happens is I still have the lingering smoke smell of the event. Why am I sharing this illustration?
Your campfire is a lot like your trauma.
Our unhealed trauma leaves evidence much like the evidence of that lingering campfire. It affects our mindset, and that affects our reactions and worldview of self and others. Guess what? That impacts our decisions, behaviors, and patterns in life. So when we’ve endured something hard, made negative decisions, or lived in a way we wished we hadn’t, we could say that “WE LOOK LIKE WHAT WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH.”
BUT... when we work through our trauma via a therapist, coach, spiritual director, or a group setting, we begin to take action to change those stories we tell ourselves. Eventually, we walked away from that campfire with no evidence of the fire. We are truly transformed!
NO SMELL OF FIRE
I wish I could take credit for that statement, but I cannot. The first time I heard this statement it was in a study on a famous character in the Bible from the book of Daniel. In the book of Daniel from the Old Testament, there is a story about three characters who were thrown into a fiery furnace for not obeying the king’s commands to worship a gold statue. The ordinance from the king contradicted their core values and faith in their God. These characters named Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refused to obey the new ordinance of the King. So the king threw them in the furnace built for the severe punishment to humans. He made sure the fire was even hotter than usual. This fire was so very hot that the guards who ushered in the three men were immediately killed by the heat. Miraculously, the men were not burned up, and even more astonishing, there appeared another being in the fire with them. There were four in the furnace. With no one being burned up, the king called these three men out. In his astonishment, he exclaimed, there was not even a smell of fire on them. He exclaimed, “You don’t look like what you’ve been through!”
What does that mean for you? Do you look like what you’ve been through? Is there evidence in your behaviors and physical appearance?
Take a minute to reflect on what you have been through. What stories are you or have been telling yourself? How has that impacted your daily life? Is there evidence of this in your appearance? Maybe there is something in your eyes or your faded smile. Maybe it’s evident in the way you engage with others, make eye contact, or even in your posture. Take a moment and reflect.
Do you look like what you have been through?
It begins with the truths and non-truths you believe. It begins with your thoughts. Please don’t mistake my words into believing any trauma that happened to you is your fault. What you do with your trauma, is your responsibility. Will you remain in victim consciousness, powerless, helpless posturing as a result of your trauma, you will look like what you’ve been through. You will cause experiences with others that will have unfavorable consequences. If you look like what you have been through, and you smell like fire, you will repel the very things your truest heart desires. I want you to have these truest desires of your heart. Your campfire may have prevented this. But you are here now. You are reading this, and maybe, just maybe for the first time in your life you are hearing that there is hope! You have to take the necessary action.
What will you do with your story? It is so precious. How will you take responsibility for your own fires?
Together, we can get you to that No Smell of Fire posture. I’ve got you. I have the map.
Sending you so much love,
Shelli
